Shoulda Coulda Woulda

Should, could and would are three words that are very simple. When used they often layer on many more emotions by the person saying them.  They are often used by many people. Unfortunately, the person using them is often relaying something that they have not done or wanted to be done but has not been done, for whatever reason.

Some examples of phrases using these words:

•          I should have done the washing up.
•          I should have spent more time with him / her.
•          He could be anything he wants.
•          I would like to go on holiday more.I would love to get a new car.

Should is a word that generally is used to describe some action or event in the past. Would and could are generally used to describe the future. Would and could are often coupled with two other words, if and or only, which then leads to dangerous territory for the speaker. For example:

•          If I had a better job, I could get a more reliable car.
•          If I had the money that he has then I would buy a new house.
•          If I had more time, I would go to gym more often.

Now that the English language lesson is over – what is the point of all this?

There is no problem with these words or using them, however, there can be a problem with using these words too often and in the wrong context. When we get depressed or down with life and the trials it does bring when often resort to woeful periods with loads of sentences with all of the above words in them. This does nothing except dig that hole deeper. It leads to a downward spiral which can be hard to break. Thus staying away from these words is a great idea. In fact, when you recognise that you are using these words and the mood is going downward, just avoiding these words can be the start of breaking the cycle. You actually do not have to use wonderfully, flowery and up beat language and sentences to break the cycle. Having said that, the biggest trick is to recognise that you are in that downward cycle, and stop it.

A big factor in the use of these words is the people you speak to. Think about the people you speak to on a regular basis. Do you get uplifted when you talk to them? Do you walk away feeling drained and exhausted with time dragging its heels? If the latter is true, try and recall the conversation. Did it contain the” shoulda, coulda woulda” type sentences? I am positive it did.

I am not saying that you must never use those words. Sentences with the words are necessary and important too. I am suggesting that you have better words to use that convey the same message in a constructive way.

   

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The art of misinterpretation...

Now a days with so many short cuts for words like TGIF, WTF, etc etc it’s not surprising that there might be some misinterpretation along the way. If you like me when I read to quickly I sometimes swop the letters and then I have no idea what is trying to be said. 

I must share my story with you. So for weeks and years I have always referred to Wednesdays as “Hump Day” because it half way through the week, and it’s all done hill from there...

My brother and his girlfriend were visiting the other day, and I was talking about “Hump Day”. So Shanna asks me what do I mean about “Hump Day”? so I was I explained about how it is half way through the week and all downhill from there... this is when I noticed she started to blush..

So me being me, I enquired why the blush? She thought that “Hump Day” meant I was “getting lucky”! Can you believe it! Like I would even advertise that! I’m not that forward, at least I hope not!

And apparently she wasn’t the only one who thought that’s what it meant when I put that as my status on facebook!

So now I pose a question, how many people actually know what you are trying o say when you post a status on facebook / twitter / Blackberry... what do they think you are saying as opposed to what you really are saying?

I thought to myself, should I stop posting certain statuses’, then I came to my senses and realized it’s not me who might have a dirty mind, it’s everyone else.

I now find this quite amusing and look forward to seeing who is bold enough to ask me what I mean when I post a status. Let’s see who has the guts!

Do not stop speaking your mind, just because some people don’t understand you! Remember you were born to stand out! 


Editors note: This is a guest post by Blackjack and not always the opinion or view of the blog or its owners and related parties. As a result no action can be taken against such parties

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If you push your body to far, it will push back!

We all know about the most common type of body language, the one between people. The signs we see when things are not working or the sign to make that move. But what about the signs our body uses when trying to tell us to slow down or take it easy. We so often punish our bodies and push them to the limit without even realising the toll it takes. 

Do you need directions?

Who directs you?

Many many people nowadays own and use a GPS in order to get around in their motor vehicles. There are various makes and models on the market but the basic mechanism is the same, you plug in the address or the co-ordinates and hit 'go' and it calculates the route and proceeds to direct you to that destination.

Depending on the settings you set on the device, it may take on the shortest route in terms of time but it may be a little further in distance and vice versa. You can also choose to avoid high traffic areas or choose to go on freeways etc.

For various reasons, I do not use one. Having said that I used one successfully the other day to get to an appointment in an area that I do know well. Once I go somewhere - I can generally get home. Just for interests sake I used it to get home. What a nuisance. I will say that they are useless in a situation when you know where you are going. Anyway, I took its instructions to a point when it was taking me through some dangerous areas. All along I am spending a lot of time watching the little screen which takes my eyes off the road. Then I started taking a different route (to get into an area that I feel safer!).

At first it was fun to see how fast it would say 'recalculating' and where it would direct me next. It got to a point where I thought device was going to start steaming and explode. It was getting angry with me! Eventually the lady and the device gave up and just kept repeating 'recalculating' and 'if possible make a U-turn'. This device was not able to calculate another route even though I was only about 500 meters off its chosen path. While this is going, I was getting agitated and spending more time with my eyes on the small screen than the road!

Another thing that upset me about the experience was that the device was not able to be heard over the radio. It was not a built in model and the music had to be really quiet for it to be audible.

At the end if that journey, I was not relaxed at all and quite unsettled actually and consequently will only use a GPS device if I have to and only to a destination which I am unfamiliar with. Who directs you when you know where you are going in your motor vehicle? Next time you go for drive - engage your brain!

College Admission Essay

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant. The author, Hugh Gallagher, was admitted to NYU.

Essay: In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following question: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?

---

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.

Officially unemployed!

Its been a rough day and in fact a 2 weeks!

It started last week with a number of issues that surfaced at work. I was informed that I have a negative attitude - true sometimes and I admit that I do tend to go that way first but given 2 days or so, I am back to myself and carry on.
Yesterday, the poo really did hit the fan and this resulted in "irretrievable breakdown in relationships" ie: I no longer have a job!

This I am taking pretty hard (as can be expected) but its an opportunity to move forward from here and not look back and try and disect something I do not understand because this results in going backwards and nothing positive come of it.

Haver fun!

Life threatening

I am fortunate enough to be a cyclist and even more fortunate to be a cyclist that commutes to work. I have been cycling about 10 years. With studying part time and working full time - my cycling has died down to two or three fun rides a year with min training in between.

i left my article clerk career behind in November 2010 and joined a very nice company in Morningside, Durban. We use an old house as the office and my office has an en suite bathroom (very Lanie indeed). i asked my boss if i could cycle to work and he said sure thing!

Anyway, i cycle to work and back about 2 / 3 times a week in rain and shine. it is way less stressful than driving for me and takes around about the same amount of time!

On my return trip the other afternoon (bear in mind that Durban in February is light until about 7pm so it was still sunny) i was cycling past a shopping centre and this &^%$%& in a white VW Golf GTI with tinted windows decides to turn into the centre far too quickly whilst i was going across the entrance!! WTF! I was travelling at about 40 km/h and was lucky not to hit him. i did manage to swerve out the way - Thank God there were no cars following me! I also managed to swear at him to which he found it necessary to stop his car and return fire!
Seriously! i have never been more scared in all my life!

Having said all that - I am a cyclist but also a motorist too and i am not saying cyclists are perfect because they are not at all! I regularly swear at them for being stupid. ^$%&*#$%^ like this need to be hauled over the coals for reckless driving in my (clean) opinion.

Cheers,